i cried 4 times today.
it hurt real bad.

first time - when i saw news on twitter about kangin in army
second - when i saw pictures of fans' balloons/banners
third - when i saw pictures of kangin + members + fans at the army entrance
fourth - when i watched the videos/fancams.

i think four times won't be four times. in time to come, i'll still cry.

till 16th april,
kangin oppa, i'll wait for you.

till 8 years later,
super junior oppas, i'll wait for you to be super junior again.

teuk: 'i want to sing and dance together as super junior, even when we are 31.'
i'll wait, 8 years later, i'll be 22. i'll still wait.
super junior'll forever remain my best group.

teuk also said, rather than crying and feeling sad, cheer for Kangin so that he can come back safely and accomplish great works.
kangin said, when i'm there take care of my members.

hell yes, i feel like crying again.
kangteuk couple ah~ don't be sad.

13elieve, protect, and always love them.

/

can you imagine, how ironic it is.
that i used to dislike shindong and kangin last year.
and i only focused on liking yesung.
but, after watching variety shows,
only then, did i realise how much i actually did love every single member.
only after i really started loving and appreciating every single member,
did i realise.. real ELFs are fans that love and appreciate every single member, for who they are and how they look at every stage of their career no matter how ugly they were, and understanding their feelings, and promise to go through it with them, no matter what.
fake ELFs are antis or should i say, mild fans that just go crazy because of their looks, and disliking even just one member in that group, or disliking the member just after they have an ugly hairstyle. fake ELFs, are fans that don't appreciate them.
then, i realised my mistake. i realised how much a fake ELF i've been.
but now, i'm gonna be a real fan. a real ELF.
one that stays along their side, stays aong the members' side, as they go through sadness today, when kangin left.
one that shares their happiness with them.
one that shares their sadness with them.
one that shares their burden with them.
one that always feels happy with whatever achievements they have.
one that is willing to wait for them, no matter the period of time, even 8 years.
i'll be one of the million ELFs worldwide, to still love and protect and support super junior.

i'm glad, i realised my big mistake early, before it was too late, to start appreciating everyone, every single member in super junior.
i'll strive super hard, work super hard to find a job, and to save up money for super show 3 at the end of the year.
for super junior, anything is worth it.

till 16th april, and 8 years later,
i'll wait for super junior to be complete again.
saranghaeyo, yeongwonhi.

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5 JULY 2010



the day a short journey starts for kangin.
the day kangin leaves for army. Actually, he already did, just half an hour ago.
I thought, i wouldn't cry.
But hell no, i was just deceiving myself. I cried.
I totally cried to see the boys cry like this. It's a feeling called heartbreak.
Chul and teuk were crying incontrollably, yesungbaby's face was RED. Like really red.
My heart broke, to see the strong friendship bond.
My heart broke, to see the members caring for kangin, and wiping his tears for him.
My heart broke, to see the boys crying.
My heart broke, to see kangin bowing with bent knees to the fans.
My heart broke, to see kangin smiling, and then crying.
My heart broke, when it just broke.
I'll be waiting till 16 april 2012, cos that's when kangin'll come out.
I cry, whenever i see those pictures.
I'll cry, cos they're in my phone now.
I'll cry, cos my heart broke into a million pieces due to the boys crying.
My heart hurts now, then kangin's officially in the army.

I tell myself, 2 years will pass by soon.
But hell no, i still cried.
People said, i'm a devoted ELF.
But i don't think so.
There's many other ELFs better than me.
But i'll work hard to be one.
Super Junior will always be my number 1 group.
8 years for you all to be together again? I'll wait.
I will wait.
Teuk once said, 'i want to sing and dance on stage in the future, even when i'm 31.'
it's heartwarming.
Teuk ah, i'll support super junior forever.
13elieve the members, protect the members, and love super junior, forever.
We're their EverLasting Friends, yeah? Love them forever.

Till then,
i'll wait. Saranghaeyo.

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i have mixed feelings now.
hm, watching music bank (:
waiting for my super junior babies ah~~
now 4 minute, then CNBlue (ohmyminhyeokie :D) then SUPER JUNIORRRR

well, that stupid beetch totally screwed my whole day up.
make us walkwalkwalk then in the end find out that beetch never send proposal.
wtsh then everyone were pissed/sad/upset like me. D: shan't blog anymore about it. -.-

ah #NoOtherComeback is trending on twitter. HAHA i helped. (:

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AGAIN :D HEHEHE. i so happy naooo. :D

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SOJIN TWEETED TO ME AGAIN :D

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OMG SOJIN TWEETED TO ME. :D
YAY :D HEHE.
cos i was saying in korean how is ad i was she never tweet back, then she said in korean, i am now ^^

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i just wrote a time capsule for kangin.
i cried, ALOT.
in a short journey, i heard kangin's voice and almost broke down.
i used to think how he was just a member, but no i'm so wrong.
after knowing super junior better, they are my oppas.
no matter what they did wrong, i'll still stay by their side to support them,
together with other ELFs.
i cried again today, when i wrote the time capsule.
i felt like i had a guilty conscience, for not appreciating kangin that much when he's here.
now he's gone, then only i start to feel the guilt.
i'm truly sorry.
if you guys wanna see my real feelings, go look at the link i posted on fb.
kangin's time capsule.
to be closed on 5july, opened again in 2 years' time.
till then, we'll wait patiently for kangin's return, of being a better person.

kangin ah, mi an hae. saranghae.

i need a bucket to fill my tears.

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insomniaaaa.

thanks for keeping me awake at 4.23 in the morning.
i'm tryna find eng subbed super junior dream team episode. ):

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my cough's still not recovering. damn.

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한국 반은 오늘은 끝아서요. ㅜㅜ
제 선생님이 너무 예뻐요. ㅋㅋㅋ
난 지금은 선생님이 진짜 보고싶은데. ㅠㅠ
아~~ 난 샤메인 언니하고 누를 언니 도 보고싶어요 ㅠㅠ

korean classes officially ended todayy.
urghh. i alr miss seonsaengnim. ):
she's really damn nice.

염주진 선생님
대박.
she's really the bestest korean teacher.
friendly, nice, pretty, motherly and most of all, a good teacher (:
she printed out so many good notes for us!
and made pretty bookmarks for us, specially.
ah, she's the person that made me score well, and pass my korean with 93% (:
i din study btw. (:
kyaaa i'm gonna miss seonsaengnim. ):
i almost cried when we hugged today. ):
at least i have the instant photos of us. (:
3 months together wasn't long, and it wasn't short either. ):
보고싶어서.. 그리고, 사랑해요!! (:
i almost teared when seonsaengnim said saranghaeyo to me. ):
i almost teared when seonsaengnim said i miss you too, thanks for being a great student, and making my class an enjoyable one. ):
urghh. i miss seonsaengnim alr. like seriously. ):
staying at home every tues and thursday now will be weird. ):
and i can't continue korean classes. T.T

to my super awesome korean class friends. (even though you guys aren't reading)
i can still remember 3 months ago, we were total strangers.
we all gathered in one class, and thankfully we all became friends. (:
really much thanks to you guys, especially sharms and nurul for being my super awesome unnies in class, always helping and guiding me along the way. (:
thanks sharms, for inviting me to stalk with weijun, etc. (: you guys are really nice people (:
eh sharms next time got info please tell me (:
ahh i miss you sharms. HAHAHA. thanks for always being damn nice in korean class. (:
so cool that you stay so near me. (:
omg we must meet up soon (:
hehehe so cool you were from tkgs. (: my senior. :D haha
unnie saranghae~ ^^

3 months ain't long, 3 months ain't short. we've been through orals and tests tgt right?
i never imagined our class to be so bonded and we're from different age groups, big age gaps except me and naomi we're the magnaes ^^
our class, enthu and lovely (:
after all the times we've been through, i'm really gonna miss you guys ):
i'll never forget the times we've been through together.
the times when we all panicked for korean oral, when we said 'fighting!' to everyone that went, when we were all very scared for our major test and seonsaengnim cheered us up and said it'll be okay, when seonsaengnim's birthday was coming, and we sang her a birthday song in unison, when seonsaengnim cried and said she wasn't a good teacher, we all said '선생님!! 울 지마! 괜찮아~ 사랑해!!' i really miss everyone alr. ):
the thought of staying at home and not going for korean classes seems so weird now.
i'm gonna tear alr. ):
really miss everyone.
seonsaengnim bonds us together, and korean brought us together.
i love you guys. (: and i'll never forget you guys. (:

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9th june (:
i went out with elyn baby (:
thanks baby for your present (: it will remind me of you forever okay :D
hahaha thanks baby for your movie treat
thanks baby for accompanying me to go kboxing. :D
thanks baby for makig my day so awesome. :D
thanks baby for making me walk to and fro marina square TWICE. (:
HAHAHA but thanks baby for everything. (:
I LOVE YOU. :D

10th june (:
last day of korean class alr. T.T
am sooo gonna miss sharms and nurul and seongsaengnim. ):

webcamming with mommy now (:
HER BROTHER JOYCE LEE GEOK CHING JUST BURPED INTO THE CAMERA WTH.
EEYER. HAHA
omg mommy i want bubbles! ):
eh i shall go your house next time. :D HAHA.
your house is sooo BIG. i swear. HAHAHA (:
eh mommy you keep dc-ing. HAHA aiyoo. tsktsk
ok i'm lazy to blog alr. HAHA
mommy you're awesome k. :D
hahaha

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later going out with baby to watch shrek :D happylets!
shall not spend too much. Just popcorn, movie, present for mira.
Ahh, must control spending alr. ):
i'm like majorly saving up for ss3 now!
Straits times reported it in life! section today :D hehe
venue and ticketing not confirmed yet though. D:
hmm, i shall buy 3 lightsticks and 3 balloons for ss3. (:
hahaha yes, i like the number 3 (:
haha yay i'm damn excited for ss3.
I think i'm gonna spend like 280++? Hahah
well, for super junior it's worth it, my babies (:

你说你心情不好，我问你为什么
你就说一个人知道秘密后，就够了，不用我知道。
你知道吗，那时我的心都碎了。
我不会怪你，但我知道我们的关系不像以前那样了。
我的心就知道，你肯定有了另一个你爱的学妹。
就算我还是那么想把你留在我身边，但你不会开心。
就算了吧。 为了你的心情， 我就不会缠着你。
因为我的心，早早都碎成一千万片了。

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V: LOL okay (:

'uhhh i wanna fly kitessss'
'uhhhh hungry'
'hungry'
'uhhh 5 more minutes!'
'mommy go away!!!'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ELYN BABY YOU SLEEPTALK HAHAHAHA SO FUNNY. :D

anyway, i saw suju a few times today, 6june <3 omg sia. (: so hot. I saw yesung first ^^ kekeke. Omg i never knew stalking was so fun ^^ kekeke. :D kyaaaa hyukkie waved to us and bowed. ^^ chul tied coconut hair heehee ^^ siwonnie, can you don't be so cool next time. T.T you din close your curtains but you din look up. T.T
okok, i din manage to see sungmin, donghae, ryeowook. D:

hmmph but they'll be back for ss3 singaporeeee! :D i'm definitely going, and i'm gonna start saving 10 bucks everyweek ^^ wish me luck yo! :D

ok, i seriously can't believe i saw suju. (:

oh and omg the suju PD-nim caught our entire van on camera T.T but we're gonna be famous yo! :D

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lyanathebimbo: hahaha thanks hunny dear (: i love you too haha i'm okay alr thanks for asking (: heehee
gen: LOL thankyou! :D haha

yay so i'm back from my boat dinner HAHA. i love my birthday (: i feel so loved HAHA. and blessed cos a total of 170 people wished me :)

me and nicky had a happy birthday song dedicated to us. (: hhaha yay i love my family yo (: honestly, i was damn happy when the band started singing happy birthday HAHAHA. (: and we had choco brownies so shiok :D then nat and gigi started singing happy birthday. cute ttm. (: they were like: HAAAA birthday *in high pitch* TOO YOOUUU~~ HAAAA birthday *high pitch* TOOO YOOOUU~~ cute ttc. (: love my nieces so much (: natalie and gigi din want me to carry them at first ): hmmph. then in the end they warm up to me yooo. nat only let me carry her~~ HAHAHAHA gigi was carried by de sissy (: omg cute lah they all (: hahah can't believe i'm going malacca with gigi and family on friday (: HAHAHA. yay (: that ends my day HAHA.

yay i'm happy now. hahaha ahem kor said i'm adorable HAHA.

baby please don't leave me and transfer schools. if not i'm going to kill you then kill myself. HAHA.
i'm serious baby. ): you know i can't do without you. ): and i won't be who i am today without you ): don't leave meee ):

girl, you'll always be my number one k. ily.

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i guess she's your number 1 junior, and not me now right.
i should have expected it. ):

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happy birthday to myself (:

let's count how many people wished me. (:
hahaha 134 people wished me happy birthday (: inclusive of texts and fb and calls(:
i feel so blessed (:

out of these 134 people, there wasn't one from my clique except natasha and tams.
sometimes, i really wonder why the hell i even know you guys.
thanks so much for forgetting my birthday ):
hmmph. so hurtful ah.

hunnybunnylyanabimbass;
thank you for your very sweet msg yst. i was really very touched (:
thanks hunny for staying up specially just to wish me even though you were tired.
your msg was 8 msgs long HAHA
so sweet of you hunny, really (:
idk if you'll read this, but i'm still typing it (:
i shan't disclose what you said in the msg hehe.
okok, i just wanna say, thank you hunny for being so sweet
ilyttm (:
you know i'll always be there for you right
hunny be strong k (:
don't be depressed alr ):
i love you alot alot alot !


dingdong;
you silly woman made me think you forgot my birthday :(
tsk i bet you really forgot. HAHA
if not why so long then wish me uh. :p
HHAHA but it's okay i still love you (: heehee.

dingdong said this:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
may god be with you this whole year
and may your results be good
and go to a good class next year
and stay in contact with your current classmates
lead a happy life
find boyfriend
errrrr don't have sex.
and RETURN ME DOUBLEUECHEMMELPEE!
HAHAHAHA

LOL WTH RIGHT DON'T HAVE SEX. HAHAHAHA

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ooh i just realised i reached my 200th post at the last post. HAHAHA.
Hmmm, idk why but i feel jealous. :x HAHA don't ask me of what either. :p
i shan't say out (:
i guess i should have expected it?
probably i'll just blog about it soon. :p HAHA
kyaaaa i wanna blog in korean T.T
but my hp no korean~ shit sia~
obs people back today! HAHA now i'm mommy's mommy she's my daughter HAHA
switched roles again today HAHAHA.
Omg daughter so poorthing in obs HAHAHAHAHA I SHAN'T SAY IT OUT. Too malu. :x

hmmm, birthday's in 2 hours 52 mins. :/
kyaaaaa i realised 9 people wished me happy birthday alr LOL. (:
kyaaaa my phone got problem T.T

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to lyana HUNNYBUNNY BIMBASS (:

hi hunny bunny! (: HAHAHA thanks for comforting me today (:
heehee i love you! and yes i'm okay hunny(:
yeah i shall stop crying alr (: heehee.
hunny you're the silly bimbo uh hahaha.
hunny please stay pretty and cheerful and young
don't cry or feel sad over anything okay!
i love you too much to see you upset uh :(

YES YAY i'm a crazy kpop fan hahahaha (:
kpop rocks as much as justin bieber my dear (:
HAHAHA yesyes okay i'll jealous of your super awesome memory (Y) HAHA
no i have short term memory okay ):
and that's bad. HAHAHA. i'm serious. D:

YES HUNNY ASSES ROCK THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD (:
heehee asses like you and me and acheive anything. :D
HEHEHE WE ROCK YO. :D

LOL hunny you should just say you suck at disturbing :x hahaha
cos i don't get disturbed easily i guess. HAHAHA
but yeah i was blogging about you so beware hunny! HAHA
beware or i shall post your blog url here so stalkers can stalk you. :p
heehee just kidding hunny (:

HAHAHA okay wait i change my sentence (:
'everytime i'm sad and if i talk to you, i cheer up'
HAHAHA it sounds nicer this way yay ^^ haha

hi hunny don't be depressed alr okay :(
or not i'm gonna be sad. :(
eh you got my number alr right?
text me when you're depressed! :(
oh wait. touchwood you shouldn't be depressed.
okok cheer up hunnybunny! don't be sad :(
heehee i'm glad to be able to cheer you up. HAHA

yes hunny you're cute, young and pretty okay (:
don't argue hehe ^^
i'm not cute young and evenmore pretty. hahah. (:
hunny please smile always kay!
cos you look even prettier when you smile (:

i love you ttm too bimbass!
HAHAHA i'm sure my com doesn't mean to hate you lah. HAHA

okok i love you (:

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"You know you love me. :D
Hello I’m doing this for Nicole See. :D (Be honoured pls HAHA.)

I hope you’re ok hunnybunny. Dont worry too much about what ppl say alright? They dont understand you and so most of the time, they talk shit just to act like they know.
Hey your birthday’s tmrw yo! (: Be happy. You’re turning 14 and 14 is an amazing number HEHE. Being Sec2 is awesome. So dont waste your time this year crying over some jerk or fighting with friends or let anything/anyone bring you down. Smile! (: It makes you look young yo. (Now you know my secret hahahahahaha lmao)
I know I am a silly bimbo. :D You are too lah pls!

Crazy Kpop fan haha. I know I have veryveryvery good memory. So pls be jealous like that. Hehe. You have veryveryverygood memory too okay. (:
HAHAHA YAY WE ASSES ROCK THE WORLD. :D I’d nvr thought we could be of the same species HAHA this is so cool! (:

No no I dont suck at disturbing!! I just dont wanna disturb you much cos you were blogging about me mah. >.< I scared later you write crap or sth HAHA.
Anw you cheer me up too sometimes. (: Like today. Hehe. I was kinda depressed in the morning. :O HAHAHA. Thanks a million darl.

I’m not young, cute nor pretty. But you must stay young, cute and pretty. (:
I love you ttm bimbass! I love you even if your com doesnt love me HEHE.
Stay strong loves. Smile. Ykily.

♥
xoxo."

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to lyanathebimbo

heehee thanks for making my day too (:
ilysm! hahah.
yes okay hunnybunny is cute k(:
HAHA.
and you're prettier and cuter than me lah k! hehe
HAHAHA my dear i can't change the face that my com hates you :(
but you love me still lor. :p
HAHAHA

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